I'm Already Dead

*trigger warning* This blog is my escape and my diary. I do not promote anything. Mostly black and white but i like to add some color in as well.

sailingto-nowhere:

you should plant a tree

or some flowers

or your lips on mine

(via littlegirl-whysosad)

It’s not that I don’t love you.  (via extrasad)

(via skinnywishingginlife)

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.

sexybieb:

if i was someones favourite blog i think i would cry

(via 0riginal)

I wish you would let down your walls for me but I know the past ruined that. But I’m still here jusy like I promised and a promise is a promise. Wow that hurt my heart a lot to type that… so much pain and sadness in me right now i cOuld sleep and cry for seven days straight.

TotallyLayouts has Tumblr Themes, Twitter Backgrounds, Facebook Covers, Tumblr Music Player and Tumblr Follower Counter